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Leaving tomorrow for the monastery, bright and early. If you want to contact me, plz check out my previous entry. Love you guys, be good <3

Kat
Soon to be known as Sr. Kathryn Thorn

Humeur actuelle: hopeful hopeful

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I've been weighing more and more what seem to be two of my main options: eventually get married or become a nun (as opposed to settling with one as an almost obvious outcome for my life). Really, I don't have too much control over either, and regardless of how many pros and cons I can think up for either side I almost always end up feeling like I'm most meant to be a nun. Still, at times it all seems like some crazy trap, and if I'm not careful I might just end up stepping away completely for a bit and losing sight of everything that (or a lot of what) means anything to me (though a little of that might help to give some perspective, granted...).

A big issue right now, I think, is one of control. When I think about either theoretical situation, I most often seem to consider "will I be able to handle this?" ie when I consider marriage it's something like, "if I get married--say, to this guy--will I be able to deal with x quality of his?" or "would I be able to handle it if my kids did x?" If it's becoming a nun (in some sense marrying God) it's more like "will I be good enough? Will I be able to live up to my own expectations?"

Actually, to be honest the biggest 'worry' I have about theoretical monastic life is that they haven't responded to my application yet, which highlights another control issue.

Seriously though, one of the appeals of monasticism to me is definitely an aesthetic appeal to my nerdy side insofar as it is so evocative of medieval times. For real, when I subsequently learned of the venia and what it was and then that the community I might enter has discontinued its use (for the time, at least--with some exceptions like at the end of a chapter meeting), I was kind of disappointed. I am, however, by no means disappointed that the monastery has decent heating. I kind of wish the friars still wore the tonsure, though one of my friends who is considering becoming one is balding enough that his hair already has the resemblance of one, lol. The habits and the monastic traditions are close enough, though, so I guess that and submersing myself in medieval theology will have to do (but not too much).

I wonder if any of the nuns has ever seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail...most of them probably either entered before it came out or come from another country. Like Nigeria. Either way, I don't think any of the friars or novices I've met so far could really pull off a Brother Maynard (though apparently he was Cistercian and not Dominican...). Actually, maybe Br. James Dominic, second from the right...

Pie Iesu Domine, dona eis requiem

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Herro prease!

<3

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I found my thesis online. You may read it if you like.

Cross posted to stonecold4jesus

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How is it that I live with four other girls but it seems like none of them are home right now? Maybe it's just because it's a Friday night and I'm just a tad lame...not that I'm complaining. If I were constantly surrounded by all four of them I'd probably go nuts.

That said, I am indeed alive and still exist on the interwebs. Almost two weeks ago I got back from my aspirancy with the cloistered Dominican nuns of the Monastery of the Blessed Sacrament in Farmington Hills, MI. It was basically a time where I got to live with them inside the enclosure and follow their schedule and do what they did, including participating in all of their communal prayers, Mass, chores, classes, and recreation time. It was pretty awesome. I don't know if many people would feel the same if they weren't called to this vocation, so I'm taking that as a pretty solid sign that I am. That said, it really did feel like home while I was there, and all the nuns seemed to like me very well. We also got to meet some Dominican novices with their novice master (they're the ones in the very front who look more like the strapping, young lads they are compared to the older fellows. The novice master is the dude on the far right). They got to come inside the cloister and join us for the rogation procession, and it was exciting because my mind defaults to a strict, nuns-only (except for me...) sense of the enclosure (even though there are exceptions that currently apply in that community on a pretty much daily basis), and here were some cute, celibate boys (ok, young men) and their novice master joining us for our rogation procession on a beautiful day. It was all very congenial, and a little adorable because you could tell it was their first time inside a women's monastery ;)

I'm working on my application now, and the two main bumps ahead in the paperwork are my autobiography and the report from my physical. Then of course I have to take care of my loans (either pay them off or find sponsors or get accepted for a loan fund or something) and my material possessions etc. It's a mixed bag as far as support goes because my dad and grandma support me (even though they're Protestants) but my mom is almost vehemently opposed. Her husband is supporting her and doesn't necessarily agree with my position, but is not violently against it, either. Despite this, though, my mom is still being very loving to me, everything considered. Most of the people I know who have offered any kind of opinion about this are in favor--even curiously so--with the exception of some Protestant friends who, perhaps implicitly, have insisted that I can't serve people or God as well as I could or should cooped up behind cloister walls for the rest of my life. Oh well.

I hope things are well for everyone. I'll be praying for you all. Feel free to leave requests if you'd like, even if that's not usually your thing <3

Humeur actuelle: happy happy

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I thought it might be a good idea to let everyone here who doesn't already know that I am planning/hoping to become a cloistered Dominican nun within the next few years. In as few as two years if everything goes well, so to speak.

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It's hard for me to tell when I'm drinking too much booze (in a more general sense--not necessarily at one sitting) because I'm a lightweight and because I'm not sure what the social norms (aside from the excesses contained therein) are, and possibly also partly because I have been socially conditioned to see drinking as often if not always implying more than one drink, which is obviously not always true. So I'm like, I had a margarita last night, should I have one tonight also? I think I will.

Happy New Year, everyone.

I've been posting a lot on my other journal, but my New Year's Resolution is not to post more than once a day and I already have. Really, I should include this journal, but I'll let it slide for now since I haven't been here in a while and probably won't again for another while.

I confessed to a Franciscan friar today! It was cool because he was awesome and because I was geeking out at the fact that he's a Franciscan cuz that's old school like whaaaaaat? Also he was just awesome.

I haven't been working on my thesis because my netbook is infected like whoa, as in my friend Bethanaeus found more than 30 things that definitely should not be on there...dunno what I'm gonna do about that

Humeur actuelle: happy happy

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I am trying to learn:
--to bear suffering patiently, hopefully, and lovingly
--to approach everyone in humility and meekness but not without the inherent dignity granted to every human being
--to avoid excessive melancholy
--how not to ruminate on the perceived wrongs of others and instead see where a wrong of my own may have led me to see things in this light and then ammend it
--how to appropriately and lovingly point out the legitimate faults of others without cheapening their correction or putting myself on a pedestal
--to actually do things that I know I should when I know I should do them
--how to get a hold on my over-active imagination, because sometimes it scares me a little
--how to make decisions promptly, and then carry them out
--how to better love and be loved
--did I mention avoiding excessive melancholy?

Humeur actuelle: thoughtful thoughtful

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I'm thinking about taking a trip to Italy to see the swearing in of the new Swiss Guard recruits (which occurs May 6) and as a graduation gift to myself sortta and a celebration of one year being Catholic, and as crazy fun time before I possibly become a nurse or something intense like that...I'm hoping and thinking I can make it within a budget of $1,500 if I can get tickets that are still like $707 and stay at a monastery that costs 25 Euro a night with breakfast.

I guess we'll see...

Humeur actuelle: sleepy sleepy

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I hope everyone is doing well. I haven't posted here in a while but I haven't forgotten anyone. How's it going? Anyway, I figured just for the heck of it I might as well post the outline to my thesis that I have so far in case anyone happens to be interested who doesn't read my other blog. I have no idea how much sense it may or may not make to an outside reader, so if you happen to have any questions, feel free to ask. Again, though, it's a work in progress. Typed and double-spaced it's about 5 pages long in outline format. I also have a brief analysis of the main reading on which I'll focus that's about 6 pages long and pretty dense--I'll mostly be working on unpacking that and tacking a few other things on for the rest of the thesis. I might post that up here or my other blog as well if anyone seems interested or if I get bored/particularly narcissistic.

without further ado...Réduire )

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